


Death Note: The forgotten pages

by Azucena_Insanity_Daee



Series: Soulkeeper [1]
Category: Death Note
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Implied/Referenced Underage Relationship(s), M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8539438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azucena_Insanity_Daee/pseuds/Azucena_Insanity_Daee
Summary: Many say I do not possess emotions, for them I care about as much as a toy does to its owner. According to the rest, I’m just like a robot: cold, unfeeling, inhuman.   Now, this recount might not be as important or interesting as Mello's diaries about L's adventures. This is something more personal I decided to write in these humble, insignificant, white pages that might as well entertain you for a few moments. Roger made us work hard in these journals to publish in our personal library as an activity of sharing what we know.
Though dear reader, this was made to vent my emotions and experiences that I have had at some point of this neutral life of mine. I do hope that if this is found you are discreet about what you read in here, for I shall not make myself responsible for what might happen.





	1. Introduction

Many say I do not possess emotions, for them I care about as much as a toy does to its owner. According to the rest, I’m just like a robot: cold, unfeeling, inhuman. On contrary, to popular belief I care too much about unimportant situations. The alias chosen for me was Near. The most ironic part of it is I usually seem so far away from everyone, enveloped within my own world of toys and information crammed within my being.

 

Why do I care? Good question.

 

It may be because somehow, I still crave for human interaction. In some way…I dislike being on my own and knowing nobody likes me. People hate me all because I am different, because I can solve things faster than them and with no mistakes or errors. This gave me the responsibility to succeed L and though this gives me a purpose, it also gives me a great curse. I will never be able to interact with the other children at whammy’s due jealousy from their side. I want to be part of them, I want to have friends, I crave to have relationships, I wish to help with each trouble they have and understand what emotions are.

 

Now, this recount might not be as important or as interesting as Mello’s diaries about L’s past cases (I read them Mello. I am not amused by your mocking and insulting me before starting the actual plot). I decided to write something more personal in these humble, insignificant, white pages that might as well entertain you for a few moments.

 

After all, this was made because Roger forced us to make these little journals with stories and experiences. I believe Mello chose (as always) to write about some of the many cases L solved, while Matt made it about Blue. Though dear reader, this was made to vent my emotions and experiences that I (as surprising as it sounds) have had at some point of this neutral life of mine. I do hope that if this is found you are discreet about what you read in here for I shall not make myself responsible of what might happen.

 

Now I do believe it is time to give my name: Nate River (please do call me Near, I prefer it that way), I shall be the narrator and guide to this journey in memory lane.


	2. Story of my life

 

I will tell you a bit about my history before this story came to be...I think it is another thing I need to get out of my chest. As mentioned in the previous chapter, this was made to vent everything.

 

I do believe I was at least four years old when I first entered Whammy's. On the outside of the snowy background, stood a relatively normal orphanage (or so I thought when I first laid eyes on the structure). At the time, I was a frightened child who had just been taken from his family after watching their murders. That day, I swore never to show the true emotions within me, I would not let people gain the privilege of looking into my weaknesses.

 

Whammy's House was a fascinating place filled with my favorite things: Toys and books. Puzzles were the thing they lacked. This made me frustrated to no end after I solved all the 123 puzzles there were in the play room. Each one in record time, from the simplest of 4 to the more complex 5000 pieces puzzles.

 

Every class I studied hard to exceed and deserve my place in the orphanage. Occasionally I would feel the stares of the children muttering about me, and as I grew I got a growing obsession with the blond boy who glanced at me most of the time. At first it looked like he wished to kill me, murder me in the same spot I stood. But then he started to sit outside my door talking about things that were relatively normal, he would never open it though.

 

We would spend hours at night just letting everything out. I would listen to every word of his troubled speeches until he had to run before his roommate got suspicious. It was our little secret...something nobody could know...

 

It was as if the nighttime turned him into a kinder person. We call him Mello...The second to succeed L and one of the people who has confused me the most in my whole entire life.

 

I shall leave this chapter here, for there is not much to say about my boring life. I apologize for not being able to provide some of the details most were interested in...Like the death of my progenitors. But this has been all I have been able to recall. (Then again, I am not sure anyone will read this.)

 

-Near

 

 

 

 


	3. Child of the night

Nights like these were the ones I hated the most. When the wind blew on the glass of my window, it made sounds that my younger seven year old self detested with passion. My worries were not the usual ones for someone my age. No, they were focused on believing another human being would enter and cause me harm. I was relatively easy to do that at night…they did not have to worry about anyone finding out (unless Mello was outside my room or by some queer reason inside my covers cuddling me for warmth).

Creak…

I sat frozen in my place, hugging my knees daring to stare at the door waiting for the inevitable. A thousand thoughts of different strategies to escape any of the Whammy’s kids clutches started to build inside my brain as the wooden entrance let the intruder in.

In that instant my mind when as blank as my face, void of ever previous thought while I stared at the person. It was a young girl that appeared to be in her teen years. Loose brown hair covered by a long veil that was being held in place by a golden headband with a strangely bulky clock. Her bangs covered one of her eyes shown through a pair of glasses.  
Her brown orbs stared at me, as if trying to decipher my very soul. Then the serious demeanor of the female in white changed into something I am not able to describe with mere words. The familiar emotion I saw when I first let the blonde rival enter my room to stay the winter night in my bed.

She looked like an elf brought out from “The Lord Of The Rings” (Linda made me watch all the saga with her whenever I was unfortunate enough to be alone in her company. I do admit it was an entertaining experience, but still not my cup of tea) or at least that was the illusion I perceived once she stepped closer to me, letting her white dress glow under the moonlight.

“Nate”

Her whisper traveled to my ears as a measured tune started to play within the wind that filled the room. How did she know my name? Had she explored the private files of the orphanage? At first my young mind was alarmed, not knowing how to react or what to think about the current situation.

“Come little children, I’ll take thee away.” Her enchanting voice seemed to hypnotize me. Acting as if under a spell, I gradually began to uncurl from my small safe spot I had created previously. Slowly she came towards me…step by step she went…until she was right in front of me with a hand extended. 

“Into a land of enchantment”

Hesitantly I accepted her silent invitation, taking her hand and letting her lead me towards somewhere to forget this numbness I had been experiencing since three years prior. Out of my blankets I could feel the cool breeze touch my pajama clad body. Shivering a bit I went with her, my rationality was gone for an instant.

“Come little children…The time’s come to play here in my garden of shadows” 

Quietly we walked out of the room as the music kept flowing at our wake. There seemed no disturbing within the cold hallways of Whammy’s House. I lost track of everything, just like one of those faded dreams, I had barely noticed we were already in the gardens just beside the forest owned by the director of the orphanage. I do believe it was the grass prickling our bare feet that made me realize where we were.

“Tell me dear child, what troubles thee so? Within the walls of thy home…Trust me my child to thy problems and hidden troubles”  
The lyrics from the song started to be relatable, as if it was made just for me to hear. Embracing me close the young brunet forced us to sit on the ground (at least in her case…I was technically sitting on her lap). 

She cared…

Somehow my young mind knew this stranger cared for me in a way no other had shown. Deciding after some minutes of silence to obey the hypnotic lyrics, I opened my mouth to reveal to this female what she had asked for in her song. 

“Everybody seems to push me away because I am different. I do like being L’s successor…but…I” Pausing for a moment I let her slightly tanned hands stroke my hair and hug me close. “I want them to talk to me…I would like them to stop insulting me and ask me what they need to know. I-I just wish I had more friends…”

Letting me go from her grasp she took both of my hands forcing me to look at her face. Glancing up at her brown orbs, I managed to find a rare emotion that I only saw in L’s or Watari’s eyes:

Understanding.

This outsider…for some reason or another UNDERSTOOD my problem. COMPERHENDED what I was going through. She did not judge, nor scoff at me…No, she just helped me stand up with one of my hands still in her own and started to walk back singing more parts of the lullaby.  
Follow, sweet child…I’ll show thee the way through all the pain and the sorrow” 

She knew she empathized with me…there was no way of denying that small fact. And yet, here she was tucking me into bed like a true mother to her child. I felt my heart drop (at least poetically, technically it is impossible for this to happen. Unless of course, I was dead). Somehow this seemed to give me the illusion that she would leave. 

Honestly, I did not know what exactly she did to me to gain such effect…But I recall feeling the tears blur my vision. The fluid I had been keeping for years from appearing once again within my eyes was not getting freed for no apparent reason.

Ever so gently the brunet leaned in and kissed my forehead, a gesture of kindness and care given to people within family or close acquaintances. With care she pushed me to bed ending the melody at last. 

“Weep not poor children, for life is this way…murdering beauty and passions”

The last thing I felt that night was her soft lips pressing once more on my forehead as I fell into deep slumber.

-Near

**Author's Note:**

> Guys! Thank you so much for reading this...Yes this will contain some yaoi and also pairings(shamlessselfinsert). I will try my best to keep up with the story if Highschool does not eat me alive.
> 
> Its part of a little project (and universe) I like to call soulkeeper. Yes, this might be one of the few Author notes where I adress like the me from the "real world" the rest...are obviously not. Thank you! Please do not forget to tell me what you think and how I could make this better.


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